If i come over, it means nothing
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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