hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
