I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
