Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
