North Korea, Best Korea!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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