I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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