garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
