All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
