Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
