We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
