I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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