And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
