What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot