Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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