Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
