your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
