Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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