Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
