just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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