if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
