this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
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I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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