Apparently you make a good broom.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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