the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
