He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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