There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
too bad you live with your parents still
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
