I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
