I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
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You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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