remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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