I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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