I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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