What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
