Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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