ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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