Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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