you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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