So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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