Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
