At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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