hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize