cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she peed on how many people?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
