note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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