Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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