i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia