Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

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(559): View more from California

You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.

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(956): View more from Texas

Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.

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(408): View more from California

How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?

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(661): View more from California

He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.

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