I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
