I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.