Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!