marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
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