Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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  (303): I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment. http://tfl.nu/lu2o
  Replies (11) Good night (3723) Bad night (1132)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.

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  (540): Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring. http://tfl.nu/sgce
  Replies (18) Good night (1186) Bad night (3538)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks

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  (215): i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks http://tfl.nu/79xy
  Replies (36) Good night (1356) Bad night (6039)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game

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  (716): she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game http://tfl.nu/hrfj
  Replies (20) Good night (4555) Bad night (1112)
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  (310): View more from California

  My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.

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  (310): My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute. http://tfl.nu/0bii
  Replies (6) Good night (2912) Bad night (1135)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

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  (812): They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban. http://tfl.nu/cwx8
  Replies (8) Good night (4730) Bad night (1145)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.

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  (860): i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm. http://tfl.nu/uzjb
  Replies (20) Good night (4136) Bad night (1319)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.

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  (314): Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes. http://tfl.nu/vcgn
  Replies (2) Good night (1589) Bad night (695)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?

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  (208): wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night? http://tfl.nu/7e2i
  Replies (2) Good night (1122) Bad night (566)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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  (410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55
  Replies (5) Good night (573) Bad night (1886)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?

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  (503): Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I? http://tfl.nu/fev7
  Replies (5) Good night (513) Bad night (915)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there

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  (732): he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there http://tfl.nu/19cw
  Replies (3) Good night (355) Bad night (828)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"

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  (414): Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie" http://tfl.nu/mcag
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.

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  (609): I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is. http://tfl.nu/eqk8
  Replies (1) Good night (715) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod

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  (360): You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod http://tfl.nu/fakl
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (337)

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