I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life