my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
