How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
