i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
