i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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