My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist