fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?