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I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
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