My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
