I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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