I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
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