break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
