Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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