every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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