I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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