wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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