I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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